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Computers are NOT for Babies.

29 Jul

Jackson is enthralled with my computer. Every day, I tell him, “Computers are not for babies,” but he doesn’t seem to care. This is how it usually goes:

First, he asseses the situation.

Then, he formulates his plan.

The smile is his distraction mechanism.

He thinks he’s sneaky.

Keeping his eye on the goal.

Pretty proud of himself.

He thinks he’s succeeded.

One last launch forward…

Silly boy. But he’s so cute- how could I be upset? 🙂



14 Jun

I just caught Jackson making out with his reflection in his toy mirror. It went something like this:


Testing the waters

Goin’ in for the kill


Another Louboutini, Please!

7 Jun

I know, I know… It’s been too long. So sue me. I’ve been mulling over something new and exciting to write- you know, with my extensive fan base, it’s just really important that I keep raising the bar with each post.

Okay but really.

Here’s the news. I have, for the past 1, 2,… 5 days been dog-sitting for the first time!

I had never dog-sat (dog-sitted? sat-on-dogs?) before this, and was a tiny bit nervous coming into it. Then I realized that people are as, no take that back, more neurotic about their dogs than they are their children, and since taking care of a child is my full-time job, I figured this would be a breeze.

Let me introduce my “children” for the week:

This is Molly. She’s a boxer mix, and basically runs the house. She’s really sweet, but has a badass streak when she sees the rat dogs on their daily jaunt down the street. I’ve a mind to “accidentally” open the front door and let her eat them for snack. Alas, I may lose my other job that way.

And this is Perry. He’s a gorgeous (and huge!) Rhodesian Ridgeback, which means a strip of hair on his back grows the opposite direction from the rest of it, giving him an awesome built in mohawk. Here, Perry is pictured in his favorite spot- the closet. This is where he hides for most of the day. Don’t let his size or alternative sense of style deceive you. He is, in fact, afraid of everything.

In the mornings, when I feed them breakfast, I have to first go through the house and angle all of the blinds up towards the ceiling, so that no light shines in, because otherwise, Perry will take 2 steps out of the bedroom and then bolt back to the safety of the closet, for fear of the sunlight. Ironically enough, he loves being outside. It’s the direct sunlight through windows that is scary.

Now that you’ve met the dogs, we transition to the part of the post where I get to tell you all the quirks of the owners that I’ve picked up on by staying in their house for a week. As you well know, I am one of the nosiest people you’ll ever meet, and I admit that without shame. There isn’t much that I get more pleasure from than learning interesting facts about others.

The first thing I noticed was this couple’s affinity for alcohol, and alcohol related paraphernalia. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not drunks or anything. I’d term them “Alcohol Enthusiasts.” They have an extensive collection of different liquors, a gorgeous built in liquor/wine cabinet, and random related things set around the house (Such as a martini shaped paperweight, “Who needs therapy when you got a martini?” plaque, wine cork wall art, and my personal favorite, a notepad that says “Monica dear, that was a precious little story. Now, be a sweetheart and fix Mommy another martini.”)

But back to the original story. Her shoes.

I’m just going to jump right in with pictures here, because there’s not much I can say. She gave me permission to snoop around however I wanted, so the first thing I did was check out the contents of the boxes. Here’s a little tour for all of you! (There’s something for everyone)

For the dominatrix in all of us, I suggest pairing this with your run-of-the-mill leather catsuit. Don’t want to detract from the millions of straps.

Dog-sledding in style. Your tootsies are sure to be warm & toasty as Molly & Perry mush through the Wisconsin winter playgrounds. Well, Molly anyway. I’m sure Perry’s afraid of snow.

Show off your badass side with these cute kicks. Channeling your inner child has never been easier.

And last, but certainly not least:

So many things to note. First off, the clear plastic makes it look like you’re growing these lovely spikes right out the top of your foot! It’s a perfect way to glam up your punk phase relapses.

Also, maybe the most interesting thing to note is the signature red sole of these shoes. Yes, you saw that right. These are an authentic pair of Christian Louboutin heels (One of 6 pairs that I saw with my eyes).

For those of you that are unaware of the weight of this, I have included this last photo:

I’m not sure you can see this, but it’s the box, with a picture of the shoe on the right, and a price tag on the left. Can you read those numbers? No, your eyes aren’t playing tricks- that number is


I think I’ve said enough for today. Hope this was worth the wait.