My Parents are Awesome and This is Why:

1 Jan

My parents are pretty wonderful, for about a million reasons. First of all, they’ve been married for almost 30 years. That’s quite a feat. And they’ve managed to raise 3 (relatively) normal, functioning children, stay in shape (read: insane shape. My mom has a 6 pack.), and remain best friends. Amazing.

One of the other main reasons I think my parents are awesome is that they are HILARIOUS. Maybe this won’t seem as funny to other people because you have to know them to know how quirky and silly they are- my dad loves a good punny joke (His go to is the one about the toilet robbery at the Police Station: “They had nothing to go on.” — get it?? Hardy har har…) and my mom is obsessed with any Lucille Ball physical comedy. She’s seen every episode so many times she can quote it, tell you the full title and probably air date, but every time Lucy gets herself stuck in the freezer or lights her fake nose on fire, my mom cries with laughter and spills her coffee.

So- back to my story.

Well the backstory is that my parents have been in the process of moving out of their house (which they built when I was 4) in order to move to Charlotte for my dad’s new job. This process has been going on since the summer, but they’ve been living in an apartment while searching for a house… Which means little by little things have been leaving the “High Point House” and traveling to Charlotte. But they’ve been in High Point on weekends cleaning and doing yardwork- keeping the house up for showings.

Kit and I went to High Point for something a few weekends ago, and were headed back to Raleigh and were hungry. I grabbed a bowl of cereal (one of the only staples that I can always count on finding), and Kit made some chicken fingers out of the freezer. He wanted some dipping sauce, so mom read out his 2 choices- caesar dressing and A1 sauce. He chose A1 and when he went to pour it on his plate, a slimy, greyish brown, very thick “goop” came out of the bottle after a hard shake.

We were all suspicious of this chocolate-looking liquid, but mom assured him that it had “just been cold in the fridge” and there was “nothing wrong with it.” So he ate a little and said it tasted a little funny.

Meanwhile, my dad had grabbed the bottle and snuck away to the corner of the kitchen, where he was inspecting the label. He caught my eye and engaged me for some help, saying, “Um… does this say… August 2007!?!?!”

We laughed hysterically and gave mom all manner of shit for trying to kill Kit… blahblah… hilarity etc.


Skip to today:


I had an awesome text-convo with my dad (and then my mom), this morning. Here is the transcript:

Dad: “Your Mother says the apple sauce is always brown like that on the top. Should I eat it?”

Me: “hahahahahahahahahaha DON’T DO IT!” (after reading that message, I was literally crying hysterically, trying to read it to Kit without laughing.)

Dad: “It taste a little funny :)” (I think he meant “tastes.” I also think that makes it funnier)

Me: “She’s after the life insurance! Kit is citing the ‘A1 incident of 2011.'”

Dad: “Hum, I do have a lot of insurance.” (“Hum.” Hahahahahaha. I’m still laughing.)

Dad: ” πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ :D” (I love when parents use emoticons. Classy.)


Then my mom starts texting me and this is what hers say:


Mom: “It wasn’t much brown just a couple of spots…”

Mom: “This is a conspiracy.”

Me: “Yes, it is. You are trying to kill both of our husbands.”



Here is a telling photo of my parents from last Christmas. Note my mom’s matching pj’s, my dad’s plaid pants (with pockets, for his pocket knife, not pictured), and their general air of silliness from the awesome gifts we (my sisters and I) put in the stockings we made for them. πŸ™‚



Basically, they’re awesome. You should be jealous.


The End.


One Response to “My Parents are Awesome and This is Why:”

  1. Meredith January 2, 2012 at 11:50 pm #

    I’m pretty sure I just peed my pants a little. This is so freaking hilarious! Love our parents.

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