The Princess Bride

2 Nov

I’d like to take today to chat about a topic that has been on my mind a lot lately.

See, as a nanny, I have down time each morning, and generally I read, spend way too much time on pinterest, and sometimes watch tv. I’ve gotten in the habit of watching “Say Yes to the Dress” on occassion, and there is a shocking trend that I find personally absurd.  It is the trend of brides needing to “feel like a Princess” on their wedding day.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit- I’ve got weddings on my mind a lot these days. I know it’s in my not-to-far-away future, and so I think about it a fair bit.

But not ONCE did the thought cross my mind of, “Oh, I’d like to look/feel/smell/act like a Princess!”

I wouldn’t categorize myself as a tomboy, (although my lack of ability to paint my nails and/or keep nail polish on my nails puts me on the suspect list) but the idea of being a princess makes my skin crawl a little! I LOVE all of the old school Disney movies. The Little Mermaid is my favorite (obviously)… but the idea of having long, swishy hair and a high floaty voice and a huge poufy dress does NOT sound like the happiest day of my life.

Reasons why being a Princess doesn’t sound appealing whatosever:

#1. The Tiara– Okay. If you’re a REAL Princess (ie: Princess Grace, Princess Kate), a tiara is fine. Mostly because it’s REAL. Fake tiaras look fake, and therefore you look like a fake princess, which is what you’re trying to avoid, am I right? They’re pretentious in a, “I think I deserve to look pretentious, however I don’t, because this thing is fake” kind of way.

#2. Long Trains– I’ve never been married, but between carrying 50 lbs of flowers, a “Miss America” worthy tiara, and weilding a 100 pound tutu, the last thing you need is to drag 50 more feet of material behind you! But then again, how will you pose on the giant stairs without a train, billowing behind you?! What a quandary.

#3. Horse Drawn Carriage– 2 words: horse shit. Do you really want to smell that on your wedding day??

#4: Huge Castle– The only castle cool enough to want to get married in (mostly for the sake of visiting it) is the Hogwarts Castle. And if you are holding your wedding in the Hogwarts Castle, you have way bigger issues than being a “Princess” bride. That puts you in the “theme wedding” category, and that’s a whole other post.

 

Then there’s the whole “Fiance’ dressed like a Prince” who may or may not look ridiculous in that outfit (I’m imagining Kit dressed like Prince William and as much as I love him, there’s no way I could take him seriously with that hat on.), all your guests having to wear ridiculous hats/fascinators (Okay, fine- I’m taking that one step further, but it’s a funny mental picture too), and the general idea of how it is BOUND to turn you into some sort of “Bridezilla” because it puts a huge amount of pressure on the “perfection” of a day that’s supposed to be about love and happiness.

 

So there is my treatise on why NO one will call me a “Princess” on my wedding day, and hopefully won’t call you that either (especially if you’re the groom).

 

Cheers!

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3 Responses to “The Princess Bride”

  1. Noelle November 2, 2011 at 3:40 pm #

    I gotta admit. I was really hoping this was going to be about the movie. 😉

  2. Tabitha @ Glitter and Ganache November 16, 2011 at 10:22 pm #

    Ha ha! I think all of your points are pretty valid.
    And I can’t paint my nails worth a damn either…

  3. Noelle February 28, 2012 at 5:37 pm #

    Ummm… might I add I completely agree with everything you say. The whole tiara thing- barf. The smell of horse poo is oh so correct- who really wants to smelll that?! And a 50 ft train is quite annoying because believe me, my mom made me try on enough of those I thought I would cry! I am glad we agree 🙂

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