Babies Are Smarter Than Adults.

22 Jun

There is nothing I’ve been convinced of more, since becoming a full time nanny, than this fact:

The children I take care of are the ones in charge.

 

You can debate and deny this all you want, but think about it.

Baby cries, baby gets picked up. Baby’s hungry, baby gets fed. Baby makes a cute face, baby gets kissed. Baby farts, everyone laughs. Baby throws half the meal on the floor and smashes the rest in his hair, baby gets his picture taken. Baby shits his pants, someone else cleans it up.

They’re brilliant!

Jackson was much more laid-back as a baby than Harris is, but he’s no fool. Jackson’s first word was “milk.” He learned it the quickest because he knows if he says it, everyone gets excited and they give him milk. Bingo! This goes for words like “cracker,” “up,” “ice-cream” and people’s names. Kids know how to get what they want. This is all part of their plan.

Lately, Jackson’s picked up the phrase “no-no,” which, you’d think would work to his detriment. Nope, wrong again. He’s figured out that if he does something he knows he will get reprimanded for, while saying “no-no,” it takes all the importance out of me saying it, and therefore he just gets re-directed,

avoiding any form of discipline (don’t get me wrong- it’s not like he’s getting beaten…but sometimes he warrants a stern talking to. When I’m not laughing at him saying “no-no.”).

Then he flashes this adorable grin and what’s a girl to do?

Harris is just the most stubborn kid ever. He’s determined to cry until someone picks him up, when he deems it necessary. And he does not wear down. Man. It’s exhausting! I always lose.Mostly because he looks like this when he’s crying… (Well, this, if you enlarge him by 2x. He’s gotten a lot fatter since I took this picture. Which really only enhances his adorable-ness. Yes, that’s a word now.) and who can say no to that face? I swear, he’s going to have a flat head forever, and it will be all my fault for not making him learn to roll over.

Like I said before,

Kids are sneaky!

Prime example: I took Harris to the mall on Monday because I needed to check out the sale at J.Crew (Yes, needed.). He of course, pitches a fit while we’re in the store, and all the patrons AND workers pity him (because they don’t know he’s being a sneak) and give me the evil eye, so I had to take him out of his perfectly functional stroller and carry him while pushing the stroller. Efficient, to say the least. So we finish shopping in our one store (all he would allow), and I headed up to grab a sweet tea and some french fries from Chick-fil-a before our quick exit. Harris decided at that point that he was hungry (or something) and wanted everything I was holding. That meant whenever I picked up an item, he tried to swiftly grab it from me and shove it into his mouth. Including, but not limited to: napkin, polynesian sauce, paper bag, cell phone, french fries, keys, you name it… and my tea.

The problem came when he grabbed at my tea. Not for the reason you’d imagine- I did not, in fact, hit the baby for trying to steal my favorite beverage. I, on the other hand, simply underestimated his Samsonite strength and before I knew it, my tea was being jerked from my hands, the straw was sliding out of my mouth- and BAM I spewed sweet, sticky goodness all over myself and the dear, sweet child on my lap.

Sneaky, I tell you!

All this to say- Parents, Babysitters, Nannies, Mannies, Brothers and Sisters… Watch your backs. You’re never safe. They know more than you think they do, and they’re waiting to get you when you least expect it.

Consider yourself warned.

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