Swim Trunks are NOT Shorts.

15 Jun

This is a situation that has bothered me for some time now, and I felt the need to mention it because of its increasing occurrence during the summer months.

Basic fact: anything that has built-in underwear should not be worn in public without a specific purpose.

I believe that if we exercise this statement to all the applicable items of clothing, everyone would look better.

This includes running shorts. I wrote a post when I first moved to Raleigh about these stupid nike shorts that are running (pun intended!) rampant in my city. But really. People wear them to the mall, to restaurants, etc. They are running shorts. The purpose of the shorts is for wearing while you run. Soooo, if you’re not running,take them off!

Then there are the tank tops with “built-in” bras. Add women’s sports tops to this category as well (which I’ll admit, I’m wearing right now- however I just came home from the gym, and there’s no specific appropriate blogging attire that I’m aware of. If there is, I will gladly don it, just let me know.). These things were meant to be worn underneath other items of clothing, or in a specific setting (ie. the gym). [Side note: Even in the right context, I wouldn’t recommend them for anyone with over an A cup because that gets messy preeettttyyy fast. And then you’ve got a whole new set of problems.]

I’m not saying it’s always bad to wear swimwear. For instance- if you’re on your way to the pool/beach (as in you’re walking to the sand, not driving in your car for hours), wearing swim trunks and a tshirt, that’s fine. But if you’re just chillin’ wit yo homies at the mall (I’ve got a Jersey Shore mental picture here), that is not fine. Even if you need to stop by the grocery store on your way to the beach, that’s fine too. I wouldn’t necessarily go grocery shopping for my weekly groceries dressed like that, but picking something up is fine.

I mean seriously, guys, those things can NOT really be that comfortable. They make that weird annoying swishy sound when you walk, they’re either awkwardly long or awkwardly short, have bizarre, colored and patterns that you’d NEVER wear in a shirt… And what happens to your boxers? Do they just bunch up in that underwear thing? Or are you not wearing them (I refuse to imagine that reality.)? Or are the adult ones different than the ones Jackson wears? So many questions. And the main one is, “Why are you not wearing real clothes in public?“.

Basic idea- if you’re going to or from the appropriate activity that requires the article of clothing, wearing it is fine. If you’re not, wear real clothes like a grownup.




One Response to “Swim Trunks are NOT Shorts.”

  1. Kit June 15, 2011 at 10:28 pm #

    Putting a smiley face at the end does nothing to cover up the fact that you are a closed-minded elitist. And Yes, thank you, they ARE that comfy.

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