Jeggings Have Competition

1 Mar

 

I don’t generally watch infomercials, although I do enjoy the occasional marathon couch potato session of HSN. Mostly to jeer at “Amish-Made” fake fireplaces that plug into the wall.

But this, my friends, tops them all.

The other day, I was introduced (via my newly acquired Time Warner Cable) to PajamaJeans.

 

“What,” you say, “could this mean?!”

 

Oh yes. It is what you think. Let’s start with a picture.

 

 

Awesome already, right??

 

Wait ’til you see how they describe them (bold and italics added by me):

Finally, comfort and style in a great looking pair of jeans. [Are real jeans not comfortable? I was unaware.] Find out why everyone [?] loves Pajama Jeans® that look like real denim [eh, doubtful] with the comfortable feel of pajamas. After work slip into a pair that has all the features of real jeans [except the jean part] including a boot cut style, real brass rivets, European styling and realistic high contrast stitching. Forget zippers or button, just jump right in [much easier than trying to work those damn zippers]. The ultra comfortable DormiSoft™ fabric perfectly shapes to your contours for that expertly tailored look [Tailored pj’s- now THERE’s a concept]. Cotton and spandex.

Features:

• DormiSoft™ fabric – a proprietary blend of cotton and spandex

• Feels like sleepwear but looked too good to keep hidden under

the covers [Bahahaha!]

• Look put together all day long

• Available in 8 sizes from XS up to 3XL

 

What you can’t see in the above picture is that they also have a convenient elastic waistband that looks suspiciously like a pair of maternity pants. I don’t even know what else to say- they’re probably the most useful invention of the 21st century. I mean honestly. Who has the time or effort to get out of bed every morning and put on REAL pants?! It’s absurd. This is the perfect way to cheat the system. No one will even know that your pockets are fake, since you have real brass rivets to trick them!

 

This is my favorite ad, for them, though. It just says it all:

 

 

 

 

What could be better?

 

As always, just trying to keep you guys up to date so you won’t be the ones still wearing your snuggies when we’ve all obviously moved on to bigger and better things. You can thank me later.

 

Take care, Friends.

 

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