The Name Game

12 Oct

So this morning, my lovely roommate brought up a topic that so intrigued me, I felt it was worth writing about.

This new trend that has me so enthralled is the millions of people making up “middle names” on facebook (and no, Sarah Danger Mccoy, this is not about you… Everyone knows you’re badass enough to have Danger as a real middle name, so it doesn’t count).

Here are some real life examples that Leah found. These are just a few of my favorites.

-Bama “Hardbody” Mcghee

– Sonia “SoUnpredictable” Hunt

-Audry “Topquality” Baine

-Candace “ICandii” SPruill

-Brittany “SaltShaka” Mills

-Cristal “MrsMagnificent” Rouse

-Brittney “TooFly” Staley

-Brittany “Sumthangdifferent” Marsh

I spent a lot of time looking over this list and pondering the possible functions of these made up names, and here are my conclusions.

The first would be to advertise a person’s awesomeness, as we can see by Audry Topquality and Brittney “TooFly” Staley.

They also can be to assert your physical perfection, as we see Candace ICandii and Bama Hardbody (and Brittany “SaltShaka”?) are trying to do (which, by the way- are you allowed to label yourself “Eye Candy,” or is “ICandii” a different thing altogether?).

The third possible use for these appellations is to highlight one’s favorite personal quality, such as Sonia’s amazing UNpredictability, (which I wouldn’t necessarily conjecture to be a positive quality, but hey- who’s asking me?) or Brittany “Sumthangdifferent” Marsh’s uniqueness. Another few names on the list included Brandon “SirFashion” Sweetenburg and Britney “Bottom Line” Winters.

Some of them have me completely dumbfounded, however. Brittany Bigelow lists her middle name as “Ohsoarogant,” which on top of being misspelled, is a negative quality, right? Then there’s Angela “ItsButta” Miller– What the hell does that even mean?

But by far my favorite is Diara Nicole. You know how, when you get married, you can list your maiden name in parentheses, beside your name? Well hers says Diara Nicole (Dontrequestme Ifyougotkids Seriously). Way to get that out of the way, Diara!

So now that we’ve established all the uses for these awesome nicknames, I obviously have decided that I should have one. I am now taking any and all suggestions. If you can think of one that advertises my awesomeness, bangin’ body, AND fabulous personality, you get bonus points.

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2 Responses to “The Name Game”

  1. Kit October 12, 2010 at 3:37 pm #

    Hmmm…how about Rachel “Witty Beauty with a Booty” Roberts? : )

  2. Noelle October 12, 2010 at 5:47 pm #

    I was gonna say Rachel “Is friends with Noelle” Roberts…cuz that implies you have all the aforementioned qualities as associated with being my best friend…but then I got distracted by Kit saying you had a booty. And if you grew one, I wanna know about it. That’s all I’m saying. Text pic or something.

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