More Tweets: Words of Wisdom

3 Oct

1. If you’re in the fast lane, you should be going faster than those in the right lane. Seems simpler than it is, apparently.

2. There is a reason “Please turn off cell phones” is blared across the movie theater screen 129085 times before the movie starts. It’s damn annoying!

3. It shouldn’t count as a dog if you can punt it more than 25 yards (Thanks to Lewis McBane for this one).

4. Leopard print should be worn sparingly, and even then only with approval from 2 fashionably sound sources.

5. Less is more, unless the discussion is about books, music, or items from Ikea, in which case more is definitely more. And more is better.

6. Miley Cyrus, please stop trying to be an actress. It was cute in Hannah Montana. Now it’s getting creepy.

7. Never rely on a man’s gayness to guarantee a good haircut. Best check his portfolio also.

8. Halloween is the most dichotomized holiday. Drunkenness and nearly naked girls juxtaposed with babies dressed as pumpkins leaves people feeling confused.

9. Everything you need to know in life can be learned from Mr. Rogers, Judy Blume, and Gilmore Girls.

10. There’s a logical reason that old movies are better than recent ones. People used to be able to sing, dance, and act. Now, hotness is the only qualification. Case in point: Megan Fox.

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