Archive | October, 2010

The Name Game

12 Oct

So this morning, my lovely roommate brought up a topic that so intrigued me, I felt it was worth writing about.

This new trend that has me so enthralled is the millions of people making up “middle names” on facebook (and no, Sarah Danger Mccoy, this is not about you… Everyone knows you’re badass enough to have Danger as a real middle name, so it doesn’t count).

Here are some real life examples that Leah found. These are just a few of my favorites.

-Bama “Hardbody” Mcghee

– Sonia “SoUnpredictable” Hunt

-Audry “Topquality” Baine

-Candace “ICandii” SPruill

-Brittany “SaltShaka” Mills

-Cristal “MrsMagnificent” Rouse

-Brittney “TooFly” Staley

-Brittany “Sumthangdifferent” Marsh

I spent a lot of time looking over this list and pondering the possible functions of these made up names, and here are my conclusions.

The first would be to advertise a person’s awesomeness, as we can see by Audry Topquality and Brittney “TooFly” Staley.

They also can be to assert your physical perfection, as we see Candace ICandii and Bama Hardbody (and Brittany “SaltShaka”?) are trying to do (which, by the way- are you allowed to label yourself “Eye Candy,” or is “ICandii” a different thing altogether?).

The third possible use for these appellations is to highlight one’s favorite personal quality, such as Sonia’s amazing UNpredictability, (which I wouldn’t necessarily conjecture to be a positive quality, but hey- who’s asking me?) or Brittany “Sumthangdifferent” Marsh’s uniqueness. Another few names on the list included Brandon “SirFashion” Sweetenburg and Britney “Bottom Line” Winters.

Some of them have me completely dumbfounded, however. Brittany Bigelow lists her middle name as “Ohsoarogant,” which on top of being misspelled, is a negative quality, right? Then there’s Angela “ItsButta” Miller– What the hell does that even mean?

But by far my favorite is Diara Nicole. You know how, when you get married, you can list your maiden name in parentheses, beside your name? Well hers says Diara Nicole (Dontrequestme Ifyougotkids Seriously). Way to get that out of the way, Diara!

So now that we’ve established all the uses for these awesome nicknames, I obviously have decided that I should have one. I am now taking any and all suggestions. If you can think of one that advertises my awesomeness, bangin’ body, AND fabulous personality, you get bonus points.

More Tweets: Words of Wisdom

3 Oct

1. If you’re in the fast lane, you should be going faster than those in the right lane. Seems simpler than it is, apparently.

2. There is a reason “Please turn off cell phones” is blared across the movie theater screen 129085 times before the movie starts. It’s damn annoying!

3. It shouldn’t count as a dog if you can punt it more than 25 yards (Thanks to Lewis McBane for this one).

4. Leopard print should be worn sparingly, and even then only with approval from 2 fashionably sound sources.

5. Less is more, unless the discussion is about books, music, or items from Ikea, in which case more is definitely more. And more is better.

6. Miley Cyrus, please stop trying to be an actress. It was cute in Hannah Montana. Now it’s getting creepy.

7. Never rely on a man’s gayness to guarantee a good haircut. Best check his portfolio also.

8. Halloween is the most dichotomized holiday. Drunkenness and nearly naked girls juxtaposed with babies dressed as pumpkins leaves people feeling confused.

9. Everything you need to know in life can be learned from Mr. Rogers, Judy Blume, and Gilmore Girls.

10. There’s a logical reason that old movies are better than recent ones. People used to be able to sing, dance, and act. Now, hotness is the only qualification. Case in point: Megan Fox.