No one is laughing.

18 May

I am about sick and damn tired of this shit. And I mean that quite literally. Let me start at the beginning.

Yesterday, I got to work, fed Jackson, who had grown yet again, played, etc. He was, as usual, the picture of perfection. He’s getting to be more fun every day- more animated and interactive.

So the morning’s off to a great start; I’m lovin’ my life. Then, I walk into the laundry room to throw the clothes in the dryer.

[Let me pause here to insert a mini rant about how Julie loves to start laundry before I get here, so I just have to dry & fold it, but puts 2190832590 pieces of clothing in her less than stellar washing machine, thus forcing me to dry each “load” 3 times! It would be much more efficient if I could split her 1 load into the 5 that it should be and do it myself. But alas.]

As I walk into the laundry room, I notice a familiar pungent smell as my foot slides across the linoleum.  I glance down and see my foot in a puddle of yellow liquid that could only have been left there by my true loves, the RD’s.

It’s not uncommon for the RD’s to pee in the laundry room, especially on rainy days (You know they can’t go outside- not only is rain cold, they’d also probably melt due to their mutant breed, which I’m sure has some form of witch/satan included.)

I decided that it was time the little bastards had some sort of consequences for their actions, and assuming it was Pacha, who’d been prancing around all morning, I grabbed her, carried her into the laundry room, pushed her face down towards it, reprimanded and smacked her around a little bit, then banished her to her kennel for the remainder of the morning. Then, I being the lovely person that I am, and not wanting to step in it again, grabbed the Grease Lightning and cleaned it up.

No more than 45 minutes after I had cleaned THAT mess up, I returned to the laundry room for “load” #2 and WHADDAYOUKNOW, the varmit had done it again!!

I thought I was going to kill them both. I was so infuriated that I thought about just leaving it there, because it is not in my contract to clean up after the dogs, but I’m the only one who frequents the laundry room, and I had other work to do that needed to be done. So, once again, I cleaned up the mess.

Later, I told Julie about what had happened and she took me into the laundry room to show me that they usually (they’ve run out, presently) have a stockpile of a product called “Urine-Be-Gone.”

Ahem, do you not think that it’s a SLIGHT PROBLEM that you have to keep your home stocked with a product called “Urine-Be-Gone” because of your adult “dogs??” If they were puppies, maybe. If they were even a little bit cute, possibly. But these things?! I could just die.

Skip to today.

Here is a photo that illustrates today’s disaster. (Note, some material may not be suitable for children, or those with weak stomachs.)

Yes, that is what you think it is. Shit. On my favorite recycled shoes. I suppose their little bladders were exhausted from all the urinating yesterday, so feces seemed an appropriate substitution.

Too bad they don’t make a product called, “Rat-Dog-Be-Gone.” Someone would make a fortune off me with that.

PS. When I told Julie about Pacha peeing in the laundry room, she told me that judging by the location of the pee, it was Vespa, because Pacha pees in the center of the floor (who’s surprised at that?), but Vespa only pees on things and doorways. Yet another sign that your dogs get away with too much- when they pee inappropriately often enough that you can tell which one it is by the location. Also funny because I totally bitched Pacha out and it wasn’t even her. Oh well, serves her right anyway.

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One Response to “No one is laughing.”

  1. Tommy Wrennnnn! May 23, 2010 at 9:00 am #

    i can already promise you i will be a frequent reader haha 🙂

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