A state of war has been declared.

23 Mar

Do I look like a fire hydrant to you??

I am sitting at my kitchen table right now, being sniffed to death by Bentley.

Do you want to know why?!

Yes, that. Because that little shithead rat dog, Vespa, decided that in spite of all the trees in the yard, I made the best target.

Julie & I took Jackson (and the dogs, obviously) on a walk this afternoon, and stopped to chat at the neighbor’s house. They have 2 dogs, so they were all playing together, running around our feet. I didn’t think much of it, other than to secretly hope that the other, bigger dogs would accidentally maul the RD’s, until I felt something sprinkling my feet. I looked down to see Vespa, with his leg lifted, coating my foot, along with my jeans and my pink rainbows (don’t get me started) with a nice stream of urine.

I shrieked in anger, but wasn’t heard over the present conversation and the dogs barking. Good thing I caught myself before punting the little monster across the yard, which was my first instinct. Ugh. I would’ve stopped conversation in order to point it out, but I didn’t want to cause a scene in front of the neighbors (one of whom I’d just met for the first time), on top of the fact that no action would’ve been taken anyway.

The only slightly amusing thing of the entire escapade was earlier in our visit, when Vespa attempted to hump one of the other dogs. Guess he needed to feel like he could dominate something. I’m sure Pacha will punish him for that later.

I have to go shower. Ew.

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